Nuriko... married?! The fangirls' worst nightmare!
by Skipsida
Summary: It's scary, spawned from a conversation with my sister while I was reading some fanfics! Be warned, much insanity and shameless self insertion!


**_Nuriko... married?!_** or **_The Fangirls' Worst Nightmare Comes True!_******

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Nuriko, although I came so close, as you'll see.... *sobs* 

**Warning:** The first few lines of this story actually took place in real life, with my sister. Tragic, isn't it? This fic being inspired by real life events! 

**Starring:**   
Skipsida, the very cool and modest obsessive fanfic author   
Nuriko, the also very cool, androgynous boy   
Frogi, Skipsida's younger and very annoying sister   
A sales clerk, who goes into shock at the slightest thing out of the ordinary   
A priest, who is very annoying and narrowminded   
Catt, Skipsida's friend and evil twin (well, that's what we claim anyway!) 

**Anyway....******

_The Scene: Skipsida is sitting in front of a computer, with her sister hovering behind her.___

Skipsida: Go away! I'm on the net! *looks back at the monitor*   
Frogi: Who is _that_   
Skipsida: It's Nuriko! He's _cool! ^_^_   
Frogi: He?   
Skipsida: He's a guy, he's just a crossdresser and he's terrific! *gazes adoringly at pictures of Nuriko*   
Frogi: You're in love with this guy, aren't you?   
Skipsida: No I'm not... well maybe a little... okay, a lot! Yay! He's just so excellent!   
Frogi: You're in love with an anime character?! What next, marriage?! O_O   
Skipsida: *Nuriko appears* What an excellent idea!   
Nuriko: *shrugs* Okay, why not? ^_^   
Skipsida: *bounces around enthusiastically* Great! We get the...   
Skipsida and Nuriko: *stars in their eyes* Great White Dresses! *materialise in a formal wear shop*   
Nuriko: (I'm in heaven!) Ooh, ooh, ooh! You have to try on this one! *shoves a dress in Skipsida's direction*   
Skipsida: And you must get this one, it matches your eyes and hair! *they march into the changeroom*   
Clerk: *a middle aged woman. She gazes fondly at their direction, imagining the money she's going to get out of this* Very pretty, what is the occasion?   
Skipsida: A wedding!   
Clerk: That's very nice, are you the bridesmaids?   
Skipsida: No, duh! Note the dresses? _We're_ getting married!   
Clerk: A double wedding?   
Skipsida: No, silly, we're marrying each other!   
Clerk: *gulps* R...really? Urm, darling, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but one of you has to wear a suit, you do understand?   
Skipsida: Okay, fine! *grabs a tuxedo and grudgingly storms into the changeroom again and emerges wearing tails, minus the top hat and cane* Okay, satisfied?   
Clerk: *gulps again* O_O   
Nuriko: How are we going to pay for all this?   
Clerk: *brightens up and heads for the till*   
Skipsida: *pulls out Tamahome's credit card, evil grin on her face* We _so _are going to go on a shopping spree on our honeymoon!   
Nuriko: *evil grin* Where did you get that?   
Skipsida: Stole it from his pants!   
Skipsida and Nuriko: Sucked in Tamahome! *walk out, still wearing the dress and tails, hand in hand, the clerk giving them weird looks. They march into a church*   
Skipsida: Hey, priest-dude, marry us, please!   
Priest: *an elderly man, a bit short sighted. He spots the dress and tails* Why certainly... *walks closer and sees them properly for the first time* No, sorry, same-sex marriages are against the law. And homosexuality is a sin!  
Skipsida and Nuriko: Grrrrr! >:-O *clench fists and grit teeth*   
Skipsida: *walks over, furious and shoves bust in his direction* Are you saying I'm a _man_?!   
Priest: *scared at being confronted by breasts in his face* N...no! It's just that she's a woman!   
Skipsida: Nuriko? You thought he...? *laughs* Baka!   
Priest: *relieved* Oh, so he's a man... well, that's different then!   
Skipsida: *furious again* So it's different if he's a man, huh? Well, gender doesn't matter, love is love, you're an idiot! Come, Nurikins! Nuriko: *bashs the Priest into a wall*   
Skipsida and Nuriko: Baka! *they storm out, furious, arm in arm*   
Priest: Eep! *passes out* @_@   
Skipsida: *pulls her mobile out. Where from? I dunno, thin air, perhaps?* Hey, Catt, you're a high priestess, right? Can you marry me and Nuriko?  
Catt: Skiiiipppy! You didn't tell me you were involved with anyone, let alone engaged!   
Skipsida: That's a point, we need rings!  
Nuriko: *pulls two out of thin air*   
Skipsida: Uh, nevermind. Oh, Catt, it's so great, Nuriko is bi too! We tried to get a priest to marry us but he was being stupid, to cut a long story short, we're in a park, having ditched the dress and are both wearing tuxedos.   
Catt: Cool!   
Skipsida: So, can you do it then?  
Catt: *appears right next to them* Sure! *gazes at Nuriko* Oooh... sexy... urm... is Nuriko a guy or girl? *embarassed*   
Skipsida: Does it matter?   
Catt: With us?   
Skipsida and Catt: Nah! ^_^   
Nuriko: Urm, well? -_-;;   
Catt: Do you take each Skipsida to be your lawful wedded wife, promise to give her cookies and a hug when she's depressed and a great time when she's not?   
Nuriko: Yep.   
Catt: Skip?   
Skipsida: Yes   
Catt: Do you promise to make sure that if one of you has a snoring problem you'll get something done about it before the honeymoon?   
Skipsida and Nuriko: Yes!   
Catt: Do you promise to never get _caught_ screwing someone else unless it is in a threesome with both of you involved?   
Skipsida and Nuriko: O_O *exchange glances and Catt* Er... yes....   
Catt: Well, since there's no one to object, I'll have to ask you, are you sure about this?  
Skipsida and Nuriko: Of cour... *stop* Uh oh!   
Catt: What? *rolls eyes*   
Skipsida: I've just remembered... out of the girls, I still have a slight crush on you and Nuriko is in love with Miaka.   
Nuriko: Out of the guys, I'm in love with Hotohori and Skipsida drools over him and basically all of the Fushigi Yuugi cast, not to mention Chris, Denzel and a few other people from her school.   
Skipsida: *whacks him* Except Miboshi and Ashitare!   
Nuriko: Well, I should hope not!   
Catt: Ah...   
Skipsida and Nuriko: This means we won't be able to drool, what'll we do? *collapse into each other's arms and wail*   
Catt: Not get married?   
Skipsida: Why didn't we think of that? *appear in the loungeroom, on a sofa, together*   
Nuriko: Well, that was easy ^_^   
Skipsida: Feel like a kiss?   
Nuriko: Yep! *they pull out a packet of Hershey's kisses and start eating them, enthusiastically*   
Skipsida: Let's make a promise, never to let any dumb guy or girl get in between us!   
Nuriko: Aw... *they hug*   
Hotohori: *enters the room* Has anyone seen the stapler?   
Skipsida and Nuriko: *spring apart* On second thoughts, screw that, it's every person for themself! *simultaneously glomp onto one one of Hotohori's arms each*   


**Skipsida's Ravings:******

*dodges the fangirls who are out to kill her as a result of this story* Yes, it was weird, I thought of it at 11pm and was hyper on chocolate at the time! Blame my sister, like I said, she actually was partially to blame for this insanity! And Nuriko, if only it were true! Or maybe even Tasuki! Or Hotohori, or...   
Nuriko: See what I mean?   
Skipsida: Yeah, we'd probably be having affairs on the first night of our honeymoon! O_O Could have been fun! *giggles*   
Nuriko: You perverted child! *giggles* Actually, with Hotohori-sama involved...   
Skipsida and Nuriko: *whack their heads simultaneously* Impure thoughts! Must have clean mind! *laugh at the chances of that ever happening* 


End file.
